Monday, August 10, 2009

430th Issue of the LFCA

Welcome to today's edition of Connections Abound. The point to Lost and Found is to level the support playing field. When LFCA works correctly, the newest blogger with the smallest readership can receive the same level of support as the oldest blogger with the largest readership. Anyone can submit news to LFCA by clicking here.

Lost and Found is open to anyone in the
infertility, pregnancy loss, adoption, pregnancy-and-parenting after infertility, assisted conception, living child-free after infertility or loss community (as well as anyone I inadvertently missed on that list). Please support the list as well as anyone posting announcements below.

Connections Abound

  • Kirtsy'd Pick O' the Day: Please vote for this one from Loveliest Days. A post that packs a punch--incredibly brief and incredibly poignant. How do you vote? Simply by clicking on the words "this one" above and then clicking on the post's title. Why the Kirtsy'd Pick O' the Day? Click on that link in the header navigation bar above for the story. And send me stuff!
  • Etiquette Question: An author wrote me to ask this question and I gave my answer, but now I turn it over to you. It is a book about sex that mentions infertility in that the "section just talks briefly about infertile couples and the challenges they face in their sex life after having a baby." Okay, so that's the context. Now, the question: would you be offended if she used the term "infertile couples" or would you feel more comfortable/less offended if she used the term "couples with infertility." Leave your answer in the comment section below so she can see your thoughts.
  • Theater: This was sent to me: "I just want to make you aware of the Midwest Premiere of Journey to the Center of the Uterus: Adventures Infertility! which opens on Sept 23rd at the Greenhouse Theater Center in Chicago. It's a poignant comedy based on my own experiences with infertility and it's a chance for patients and staff to laugh a little to relieve the stress of treatments. Check out the website for more information."
  • Study: This was sent to me: "My name is Audrey Reyenga and I am a physician assistant student at Baylor College of Medicine, I am doing a research study about women who have become pregnant with their own eggs after diagnosis with premature ovarian failure. This is a descriptive study looking at characteristics so it involves an online survey and you sending your medical record in for review. All information will remain confidential. If you are interested in participating in the study or have questions about the study, please email me at for more information, if possible please have "POF study" as the subject line in your email. I appreciate your time and consideration."
  • Connection: Caitlin asks, "is there perhaps someone out there with tubal IF experience and/or PID?" If you can help, go over to her blog and connect.
  • Connection: Laine states: "yesterday I had my third consecutive miscarriage after 4 live births and one other miscarriage between those live births. I cannot find ANY information for a woman who has had more than one live child who is experiencing recurrent miscarriage." If you fall into this category, could you please leave her a comment on this post directing her to your blog?
  • Blog Change: There's a Baby at the End of This, Right? is in a new home on Wordpress. Update your blogroll links and visit her in her new space.
  • Vote: On a non-IF note, Pam has entered a "Best Travel Story" contest in the hopes of winning a pair of coveted opening season hockey tickets for her husband. Please help her out and vote. We can vote once a day until August 29th.
  • Request: S from By the pricking of my thumbs has a rather unique request - she's trying to undergo a traditional surrogacy - in Australia - and needs an Indian sperm donor.
    Can you help her or know someone who can?
  • Advice: Worrier/Warrior is wondering how other DE moms/moms-to-be view the genetic relationship between your donor conceived child and your donor and the genetic relationship between your donor conceived child and other children conceived of the same donor. Please go over and share your thoughts.
  • Question: So It Goes is wondering what kinds of exercise are appropriate while doing injectables.
  • Forums: If you are not a member of the forums, you will not have access to the LFCA on days when we are utilizing an open thread in the forums instead of posting on this site. Any blog reader or writer can become a member of the forums by clicking here and registering. On days when we don't have the LFCA, it also follows that I'll be slow on approving new members (that whole lack of Internet access thing) so please be patient.
NEW BLOGS (started in July or August 2009)
BIRTHDAYS AND ANNIVERSARIES (celebrate your birthday or blogoversary with the community. Send me date at any point and I'll post them on the correct day)
  • Monday is Jen's 6th anniversary. Go over and wish them congratulations.
  • PerchancetoDream is celebrating her birthday on Wednesday. Go sing her a little song.
  • Saturday is A New Day's birthday. Go over and have a slice of cake with her.
  • Gil and her hubby celebrated their 5th wedding anniversary on Friday, August 7; and this week, they're also celebrating having reached the "full-term" mark of their IVF pregnancy!
  • Please stop by and wish Kristin's husband a Happy 50th birthday. His birthday was August 7th.
  • Its B Mom's birthday! Go over and have some cake with her!
  • To Baby and Beyond is celebrating her one year blogoversary. Go celebrate with her!
  • Farah and E are celebrating their 7th anniversary on Monday. Go wish them many more happy years!
  • Sadie and her husband, Marcus, celebrated their 6th wedding anniversary yesterday. It is not too late to stop by and give them some love.
LOSS REMEMBRANCES (send in the dates of loss anniversaries and I will post them on the correct day)
  • On Thursday, Julie will be remembering her father on the date of his death. Please give her support this week.
  • Saturday is Jen's loss date of her first pregnancy. Please give her support this week.
  • He Will Carry Me is thinking of Isaac and missing him, ten months after he was born. Please go remember him with her.
  • Growing Inside is missing Tikva, a year after she died. Please go and support her.
  • You're Still Young will be remembering the day her daughter was due on August 10th. Please share your love with them.
MISCELLANEOUS SUPPORT AND CELEBRATIONS (scary scans, anxious waits, OHSS, and a host of other reasons why these bloggers could use some additional support right now. Also, celebratory retrievals, transfers, and other good news)
  • Cathy from A Journey to Conception had her trigger shot on Wednesday and will be having her ER on Friday morning. Please go and wish her luck!
  • The Follicle Report is having a bad week and is in a funk. Please go and give her a hug.
  • The Painting Chef just had an IUI. Please go and wait with her as she begins her 2WW.
  • Kate's husband is freaking out a little over their recent male factor (low count, low motility, low morphology) diagnosis, and could use some encouraging words. Kate also has some questions about some genetic tests that were recommended due to the diagnosis. She is asking for any support, any information, any kind words at all.
  • 2 blastocysts on board, Pumkinseed could use some words of encouragement as she endures the 2WW for IVF #4.
  • Carrie's Grandmother just passed away and she could use a lot of support through this sad time.
  • On the recent ultrasound, Woman Anyone? found that not only had her right ovary cyst not recurred (persistent over two years), the fixed retroversion of the uterus was also a thing of the past.
  • Gracie in Brooklyn had her retrieval last Wednesday, and she is scheduled for transfer on Monday.
  • This weekend, Eden celebrated the launch of her new children's book, Buzzy Bees! Stop by and congratulate her!
  • A Journey to Conception had 43 eggs retrieved on Friday. Of the 43, 31 were mature and 29 fertilized! She's now waiting to see what the doctor says on Monday to see if it will be a 3 day transfer or a 5 day transfer. Go and wait with her as she awaits the call.
  • Salvageable needs some good thoughts. They are in the middle of the 2WW and she was carjacked at gunpoint in front of her house. She is understandably very upset and shaken. Please go give her support.
BEDREST BABES: on bedrest following infertility or loss and needing support. Drop in on them and keep them company.
  • Although she will remain on strict bedrest in the hospital until the twins are born, Michele had a good u/s yesterday. The babies are doing well and her cervix is closed. Stop by and share this good news with her.
  • Empty Arms is experiencing several signs of incompetent cervix and is currently on bedrest. Please go keep her company.
  • Devon has been admitted to the hospital with contractions. Please send her many prayers and warm thoughts. Her little one is still too young to be born and it is important that she stay inside as long as possible.
  • Carrie of Tubeless in Seattle has been placed on modified bedrest and will most likely be getting a cerclage in the next week or two. Please give her some support as she awaits her triplets arrival.
  • Mimi had her nuchal scan and both babies are looking great.
  • Charlotte's Mama just found out she is pregnant. Go send her a congrats and a hug.
  • Namaste at Infertility, Yoga, and Chocolate has a BFP! Pop over and wish her congrats!
  • Carly Marie is having a girl!
  • It's Just Me had her anatomy ultrasound. One baby is fine, but the other baby received a serious diagnosis. Please give her support.
  • Hope in Virginia has seen a heartbeat!
  • BB has rising betas! Her 3rd beta and ultrasound are scheduled for Friday.
  • Sunny got a positive HPT followed by great rising betas!
  • Fran has a positive beta!
  • KateDaphne welcomed her two daughters into the world last Tuesday. One of her daughters had to have heart surgery and one was jaundiced. Kate is having some difficulty recovering from her c-section, so go her some support on getting through all of this.
  • Courtney at Praying for a Little One had a boy, Henry, on August 7th. Please go over and wish her congratulations.
Read and Support


Dan & Hillary said...

Laine- if you are interested in speaking with women who have experienced 'secondary infertility' and recurrent loss, check out my blog and my blog list. Sadly, there are a lot of us, but there is hope:-)

Aurelia said...

On the etiquette question, I don't care one way or another. Truly. My concern is that the content is factual and informative without being patronizing.

Then again, I've never been highly fussed about small points of grammar. (Adoptee vs. adopted person, birth mother vs. first mother vs. any other term you can think of) I get more upset about Doctors and nurses outright dismissing concerns of patients, etc...

And yes, others might disagree....just me?

Laine, I have experienced multiple losses and now have three kids, all the losses in between. check out my blog, or email me to ask anything.

The Baby loss directory might also be a place to look.

Jem said...

I'm at the beginning of this strange journey of TTC with medical help. An acupuncturist insisted on the term "fertility challenge" rather than infertility.

Alexicographer said...

On the etiquette question, if the author is writing (as the question suggests) about the experiences of people parenting after infertility, I think that's the phrase I'd use ... or maybe "couples who have experienced infertility." As we know, the claim that one is "infertile," if one has borne children can be a contentious one. Personally, I think the answer is that, yes, oh yes, one can be both infertile and a (genetic/bio/gestational) parent, but not everyone agrees, and that may be particularly true if (as sounds likely) the audience of the book is more inclusive than "just" "infertiles."

It's nice to see the issue being considered/addressed!

Jendeis said...

Re: the etiquette question, I think that I prefer couples with infertility OR couples struggling with infertility as opposed to infertile couples. I think that it does come down to personal preference though.

Baby Smiling In Back Seat said...

Etiquette: Personally I am fine with either term, but for the same reason Alexicographer mentioned I'd stay away from "infertile couples": could be contentious or confusing for some people who don't think that you are still infertile after having had a baby.

Brilliant idea for the author to crowd-source this question via LFCA!

JuliaS said...

For Laine - seven miscarriages starting after the birth of my first child. I had 3 in a row the first time, live birth, 2 more miscarriages, live birth, 2 more miscarriages, followed by 3 live births. Feel free to check out my blog as well as email (the info is on my profile page) directly if you wish with questions.

Good wishes.

Life after Infertility & Loss

JuliaS said...

Sorry - that link is not working for some strange reason.

Anywho - click on my name and that should take you where you need to go!

Julie said...

Thanks for remembering, nice lady.

Brave New Gardeners said...

With regards to the etiquette question...

As a social worker, using a diagnosis as an adjective to describe a patient/client is considered insensitive(example: Autistic child vs. child with Autism). I think the same translates for infertility.

I think it's important to consider it from a "person first" perspective; you are a person with X. It's less reductive, if that makes sense...

Anonymous said...

Laine (there was no link to the blog or email) - I have not experienced it but have read about cases where this has happened - there are stories on the Yahoo Reproductive Immunology Board, or a very similar story to yours in the book "Is Your Body Baby Friendly" by Dr Alan Beer.

The Swann's said...

Etiquette question: I have heard more than once the term, "Fertility Challenged" by those who do not like to sound degrading with the term "Infertile".

Perhaps the best term for this author is Couples who are struggling with Infertility or Couples with Infertility as originally suggested.

I think it is fantastic that this author cares enough to actually ask!

My last thought... I think the context is more important than the terminology. Is she stating facts or opinions on couples who face infertility? :-)